A Prayer

I heard a prayer the other day,
One about anger, sorrow... and joy,
Joy that comes from the strength,
Of realizing, of loving, everything you are.

It got me thinking,
Here's something you don't know,
That I'm slowly falling apart,
And now it's beginning to show.

Months of slow torture,
In the form of loneliness and shame,
Have me feeling hopeless.
They're the source of all this pain.

It's this dead kind of feeling,
Like I'll never wake up.
I can't even remember what it felt like,
When love was always enough.

I thought I was doing you a favor,
By keeping my troubles locking inside,
But if I would have said something,
Maybe I'd feel like you were on my side.

Now the tears run unbidden,
Down this damaged heart,
Because I don't have the courage,
To keep them from tearing me apart.

I'm going to start praying now,
Hoping that God will somehow hear my pleas,
That somehow, in some way,
I'll find the strength to get up off my knees.